4 words: hood of his car
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
