We're like a lot better than the average bears
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
