that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
