Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
