I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
organizing the empties. That sober.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
