My liver just broke up with me...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
