He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
