i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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