Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it hurts more in the daytime
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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