i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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