is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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