sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
