He is an equal opportunity slut.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
