just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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