i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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