Dual....:-)
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
