so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
