come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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