I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
