U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
