He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
