You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
