so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Randomize
