i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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