let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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