found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
