My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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