he looks like a really good dad on facebook
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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