the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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