apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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