things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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