That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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