We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
