Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
