so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
