you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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