Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
