in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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