To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
