If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So squirting runs in the family.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
