If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
