I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
