I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
