Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Still dying that you shit outside
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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