so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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