I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish you could order shots online.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
