Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
