your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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