Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
