i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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