Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
