OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
